Bruise My Lips

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Fight me, hit me, bruise my lips –

rake your fingers over my hips.

If I said no, your actions would cease –

the respite would be faint, be brief.

You’re entitled to me, my everything –

my thoughts, my body, my dreams.

Deny, deny, you say I’m mine –

but you nail yourself in my mind.

You say you’ll never leave;

you don’t ask me.

The violence grows, the danger blooms –

but I can’t leave, it’s still too soon. 

I won’t tell him, he doesn’t need to know –

the way you deliberately cut out my soul.

The worst violence was not the bruises,

was not the slips.

It was every insult that fled your lips.

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Dawson

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Dawson dreams. Dawson lies.

His lips are sweet but, his words are zip ties.

Everything draws everyone in,

deep swimming pools; dens of sin.

The water is dark, top frozen over.

there’s no light here, let’s not be sober.

Take off my shirt, trace our life on my back.

I don’t want a future, but if you’re here I’ll plan.

Draw our house, draw our rings,

we’ll have flowers and kids and things.

Rocking chairs rock when you push;

everything rolls when you’re a lush.

But Dawson dreams Dawson lies.

His lips are sweet – his words are zip ties.

Just let me go, 

leave

me

lie.

Vile Relationship: I Come First

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CONVENIENT lips – it’s not a CONVENIENT time for me. Every time he touches me, my heart tears. Makes the sound of paper as I shred it. Legs on laps, he leans his head to rest on mine and all I notice is the irrevocable sadness of the MOMENT. I didn’t need him, like him, want him. I needed you, liked you, wanted ATTENTION. Fake love for a fake girl. A fake girl with a factory mind – I haven’t found anyone of my kind. He tried as hard as he could, shuffling priorities to place me at the top. I was a VILE, SPITTING thing when I came in SECOND. Relationships based on one person don’t mix – they dip, they spread, they never touch. Press your lips to mine and I’ll SLIT your throat. Walk around and torture your sweet ghost.

I never loved you – I USED you.

If I were better I would feel SORRY.

I don’t.

Young Gods: Would You Marry Me

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Blue walls, dark nights, the TV can only seem so bright. I drank my way from here to you, I’ll do it again as long as I can play the fool. I’m always the fool, you’re always The God. I listen to the song, never trusting once. Crashing into you is madness. Everyone knows I love madness, people can see it when I walk by. The paint slips from my mind, the words they bleed and they tear and they scrape, you never ever noticed, it might be too late. I have more faith in you, I shouldn’t admit it. I should lock the words away, with the rest of our minutes. Minutes stretching into hours, turned into days. I had to leave, and you didn’t say “stay”. I don’t know what that means, I can’t remember what you said. I already know one drink goes to my head. I got very good at it, leaving you behind. Necessity perpetuates my lines.

But you asked and I said yes, I know it doesn’t matter, it’s not us. It was never us. I was a girl with black branches and you were a boy with the sun at his back. Young Gods can only travel so far before they splinter and crack.